Here's to Happy Women...

Why is it that we have some friends who make us feel good about ourselves, and then we have other friends who always tend to bring us down? And just like a marriage, for better or for worse, we hang in there with the downers for as long as possible. Faithful until the end. These days, many friendships outlast marriages. This makes me wonder...do I make my friends feel good about themselves? Or am I a downer friend? After all, I’m opinionated, pragmatic, and if you ask me a question, I generally tell the truth…as I believe it to be. On the plus side, this means that I will always tell my friends when their mascara is smeared or if they have a poppy seed or a piece of spinach in their teeth. But honesty is not always popular, and sometimes difficult to maintain— especially when a friend is going through a rough time. When friends have a problem, they generally want you to tell them only what they want to hear—and that’s usually what you do, because you don’t want to cause them m...

T o set-them-up, or not to set-them-up, that is the question. A friend of mine, who is fresh out of a serious relationship, wants me to set him up with the sister of another friend. Both are intelligent, hard-working, attractive and health conscious people. Seems like a no-brainer. So what's my dilemma? I've been burnt before and I’m tired of being unjustly tainted. Yes, I said tainted . Setting up a friend on a blind date is a lot like loaning money or selling your car to a friend. There’s always a chance that the friendship will suffer. I still hear about the problems that the brother of an ex-boyfriend of mine had with the Camaro I sold him a thousand years ago. Never mind that this kid never changed the oil in the car. For some reason I was at fault because it was once mine. The car always ran perfectly well for me and I’m still the tainted one. To this day, I can hear my ex-boyfriend’s mother saying, “…remember that Camaro John used to have, you know, the one Teri sol...

W hy is it that the grass always seems to be greener on the other side of the fence? Maybe it is and maybe it's just an illusion—an oasis that will disappear the moment you stake your claim. You buy a new car, and then a few months later another car comes along that you think you might like better. Instead of enjoying your new car smell, you just can't wait for the lease to end. Eventually you get the car you lusted after (note: the word "car" is exchangeable here). You drive the car a few miles—maybe on a weekender road trip—and it's not at all what you expected. In fact, it's not even as good as your last car. You know...the one you never appreciated until it (or he/or she) was gone. Maybe you long for what you don't have simply because you don’t have it. Perhaps a friend's new relationship seems more attractive than your current relationship. It's always the same, and we've all been there—even if we won’t admit it. Married folk envy the si...

W hy is it that the invitations we don’t get can be as agonizing as the ones we do receive? We’ve all experienced the pain of not getting an invitation. Like the Christmas party that all of your friends were invited to, but not you. How about the time when severa l of your friends got together for a movie—without calling you? This always hurts, so we put on a good show and say that we were busy and wouldn’t have been able to go anyway—even if we weren’t and we could have. Sometimes not being invited is due to miscommunication. Someone was supposed to call, but forgot. Perhaps the invitation was truly lost in the mail. Other times, you just weren’t invited. As hurtful as this is, there are times that I wish certain invitations had been lost in the mail, or someone had forgotten to make the call. Holiday invitations may be the most hazardous of all. My Thanksgiving last year involved an invitation to a friend’s house. She said, “come for dinner, you’ll have fun.” I thought about it f...

T eri Gray Franta is an alumna from the University of Southern California School of Journalism. For years she enjoyed a unique perspective observing the relationships—both personal and professional—between men and wo men. As the head of an advertising agency that specialized in the male-dominated motor sports field , Teri was considered “one of the guys.” Somehow she managed to retain her femininity, and most importantly, her sense of humor. She may have worked with the boys, but the sisterhood of “chicas” was always on her mind. As she wrote tirelessly about motorcycles, snowmobiles and all terrain vehicles (ATVs), another voice was silently screaming to be heard. This voice was finally unleashed when Teri decided to take a short break to concentrate on the homefront. After taking a leave of absence that included a month long European pilgrimage to “clear her mind” of 95-hour work weeks, deadlines that took priority over anniversaries, birthdays and other special occasions that “nor...