Hotel, motel or no-tell Fred

So, you’re in a relationship and heading out for a long weekend with your partner. The weekend promises to be great fun. You’re looking forward to getting away and enjoying a few nice meals, perhaps some dancing or listening to some live music, sleeping in, and some lazy days by the pool with some refreshing libations. It’s a change of scenery you’re after…and some romance and relaxation. You get to your destination, check into the hotel, and whack…you are hit in the head with those interesting, yet predictable, expectations the moment the door to your room opens and your partner spies the bed. Perhaps you have the notion. Either way, my point is that the word “hotel” or the hint of the word “hotel” can be a powerful aphrodisiac.

Let me digress, cool off and explain where I’m going with this article. Bare with me please…and yes, the bad pun’s intended.

A few months ago, I read a silly article about the name “Fred.” I don’t remember all of the details, but I do remember that the point was that repeatedly using the word Fred was supposed to make you feel happy. A mood enhancer, if you will. I laughed because our amazing Beta’s name is Fred. Plus, there’s a local hangout I frequent…and you guessed it, Fred’s it is. At least once a week I’m telling someone, “Meet me at Fred’s.” Fred is a part of my everyday vocabulary.

Every morning I start the day talking to Fred the fish, calling him by name…or asking my husband if he fed Fred. In fact, my husband and I both like to say “fed Fred.” It always makes us laugh. We never say, “Did you feed Fred.” We always say, “Have you fed Fred.” Perhaps we were both weaned on green eggs and ham, or there’s something to the theory on the mood enhancing attributes of repeatedly saying “Fred.” All I know is that every time we say Fred, we laugh or smile. Why don’t you try it? Close your eyes and say the word “Fred” 10 times out loud. Come on now, admit it. You smiled just a little, didn’t you?

So how does the Fred theory meet up with my hotel story? Easy. I have a theory too. I think the word “hotel” has mood enhancing qualities of a different sort…depending on your sex, lack of sex, or testosterone level.

Actually, I think most men and women hear this word differently. When women hear “hotel,” they think of room service, maid service, relaxation, perhaps some romantic cuddling and yes, some uninhibited sex. Men hear the word “hotel” and think sex before room service, sex after room service, sex before maid service, sex after maid service, relaxed sex, romantic sex, uninhibited sex, and yes, more sex.

Hey, I’m not finding fault here. I’m just exploring a theory…as I see it. You can have an exciting, healthy and satisfying love life at home and still encounter the same “hotel” phenomena. It’s not just the sex starved who react this way. Close your eyes and say the word “hotel” softly 10 times. Better yet, chicas…say the word “hotel” ten times softly to your partner. Before you do though, you had better be in the mood. Perhaps you should repeat the “Fred” (times 10) exercise before testing my theory.

Whether my theory works or not, I’ll never know. I’m not collecting the data…so don’t send me any. You might say it’s too much information. Plus, I realize that the anticipation of any getaway alters the mood to a certain degree. But I can’t help but wonder what a trip to a hotel, motel or no-tell called “Fred” might involve. I like to think that it would balance the “playing field,” if you get my point. No battles of the sexes…or testosterone. Just sweet relaxing dreams with the happiest of endings all around.

Now it’s time to check on my fish Fred, see if he’s been fed, and dare I say, go to bed. Tomorrow I need to find out if there’s a Hotel Fred somewhere on the horizon. I’m in the mood for a few nice meals, perhaps some dancing or listening to some live music, sleeping in, and some lazy days by the pool with some refreshing libations. I’m looking for a change of scenery and some romance and relaxation. My husband? He just read this article, so you can probably guess what’s on his mind. I’ll give you a clue. It’s not Fred, Fred, Fred, Fred, Fred, Fred, Fred, Fred, Fred, Fred. In fact, he could care less if Fred's been fed. Yeah, I know. Too much information.

© 2007 Teresa G. Franta