Resolution solution.

Okay, it’s a new year. For some people, it’s a time to reflect on the past and plan for the future. Well-meaning individuals try to institute positive changes by making resolutions for the New Year. The most popular resolutions involve lifestyle changes.

This tradition of making New Year resolutions dates all the way back to 153 BC. The name of the first month of the 365-day solar calendar, January, originates from a mythical Roman king named Janus—the god of beginnings and the guardian of doors and entrances. King Janus had two faces: one in the front and one in the back. He could simultaneously look backward on past events while looking into the future. The first New Year resolutions evolved from ancient Romans asking forgiveness of their enemies. On New Year’s Eve, they would exchange branches from sacred trees to represent good fortune for the recipient in the coming year. * Yeah...pretty similar to the New Year’s Eve parties I’ve attended, except the morning after I always feel like I've been hit on the head with the branch.

As for making resolutions for the New Year, I’m not a fan. Every time I’ve tried to make resolutions in the past, I’ve actually ended up with more bad habits that I started out with in the beginning. Lying, cheating and denial easily come to mind. As in… “Of course, I went to the gym today,” or, “No I did not just have a cigarette,” And “Oh well, at least I cut back…that’s better than nothing, isn’t it?”

This year, it seems that everywhere I look, I see varying lists of the most popular resolutions we Americans allegedly make each year.

1. Quit smoking/drinking/recreational drugs: Most lists have these items separated into individual resolutions. I combined them because if someone has two or more of these habits, they must give them all up at once. Then, they’ll drink more coffee and next year “less caffeine” will be on top of their list.

2. Lose weight and/or start exercising: If someone also lists “quit smoking” as a resolution, scratch “lose weight” off the list right now and just leave “start exercising.” Then next January, no matter how much exercise this someone does this year, “lose weight” will be on the top of his or her list...if they succeed in kicking the habit, that is.

3. Get organized: This is a great resolution because it’s non-specific. It can apply to anything and everything.

4. Go back to school: Again…non-specific. This one actually amuses me because I had this on my long ago lists of resolutions for years. I could actually have a PhD and a doctorate by now.

5. Spend more time with the family: Again, non-specific. I’m not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

6. Try something new or learn something new: Learning to be specific might not be a bad idea.

7. Work on spiritual growth: Really non-specific – or should I say non-denominational?

8. Take a trip/enjoy life more: I really can’t figure out why this one doesn’t rank higher on the popularity list, but after resolutions 1-5, it’s actually more of a New Year necessity than a resolution.

9. Pay off Holiday debt: I assume this means somebody got a new Tivo and Ipod.

10. Get a better job: Again, I assume this means somebody got a new Tivo and Ipod…and maybe even a high def plasma TV, stereo, digital camera, blackberry…

Eventually, after reading the above resolutions for a fifth time, I decided that maybe I should give this New Year thing one more chance. I took these resolutions and adapted them to my life. Why should I reinvent the wheel? I’m just an ordinary chica. Maybe this time will be different. After all, I’m older, and hopefully more mature (and somewhat wiser) than I was in my youthful days of unsuccessful resolution keeping.

First things first. I needed to work on interpretation. I personalized these generic resolutions and made them my own. This involved a little homework. Like the two-faced King Janus, I looked backward and then applied some creative and sideways logic. I quickly realized what my most critical mistake was in making previous New Year resolutions. Specificity. In the past, I wasn’t specific enough. It wasn’t the “breaking” of the resolutions that caused my downfall, it was in the “making” of the resolutions that I had set myself up to fail. Once I realized the error of my ways, it was a piece of cake. It’s amazing what a wee bit of tweaking and justification can do for the soul.

Please read on for my personalized, prioritized, specified, duly-tweaked and justified 2007 New Year Resolutions.

1. Get more organized:

It’s all a matter of interpretation. The new Tivo and Ipod Santa delivered should do the trick. I’ll be more efficient and organized at watching TV and listening to music than ever before.

2. Quit smoking cigars:

This should be relatively easy, as I’ve only smoked one cigar in my life and that was seven years ago. Plus, if I quit before I start, then I’ll never start…right? And that’s one less bad habit to kick in the future.

3. Start exercising my fish:

Fred II, our wonder beta, has been a bit lazy lately and has put on some extra weight. I resolve to plan a morning exercise regimen to get him off the bottom of the bowl. I sure hope he takes the bait.

4. Go back to school:

I'll plan at least one fly-fishing trip with my husband this year and arrange for an accredited guide to school us on the finer points of fly-fishing. If this doesn’t work out then a few golf lessons should suffice.

5. Spend more time with the family:

First, I need to decide which family. I’ll have to get back to you on this one.

6. Try (or learn) something new:

This one is redundant, as I’ve already committed to planning an exercise routine for a beta fish.

7. Work on my spiritual growth:

The fly-fishing trip in resolution 4 above serves double duty. I am never closer to my spirituality than when knee deep in a stream, while wearing my waders and surrounded by breathtaking waterfalls and beautiful scenery. I know just the place. Frying Pan anyone?

8. Take a trip and/or enjoy life more:

See resolutions 1, 4 and 7 above and resolution 9 below.

9. Pay off Holiday debt:

Go to Las Vegas more often. Cha-CHING! Cha-CHING!

10. Get a better job:

Since I work for myself, I’ve decided to change my job title, give myself a raise, and take more time off for watching Tivo, listening to my Ipod, fly-fishing, going to Vegas, exercising my fish and spending more time with the family—once I figure out which family, of course.

Happy New Year everybody. I wish you a wonderfully creative, sideways and loosely interpreted 2007! Or, if the more traditional route floats your boat, then I wish you an amazing parade of traditional boat floating throughout 2007 and beyond!

Postscript: You didn't really think I would share my real resolutions with you now, did you? Rest assured I do have them...and what you don't know can't hurt me!

© 2006 Teresa G. Franta

* Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Year_resolution