Time for tee...or tee for two?

After taking seven years off, I’ve taken up the game of golf again. This time, my approach—literally and figuratively—is much better than in the past. A torn rotator cuff and the subsequent surgery caused my hiatus in the first place. Golf was never my primary sport, as I was a tennis player. After forgoing the tennis courts for the same reason, I recently accepted that tennis would never be my game again. My serve will never be the same and the possibility of re-injuring said rotator cuff is a problem. So, I decided to revisit golf—the sport I only half-heartedly played with my husband, children and friends whenever required to do so. This time around, golf seems much more social...more fun. I’m not just talking about the 19th hole. There is a different vibe. Everything about golf seems more alive…and paradoxically, more relaxed.

I wonder what’s changed. It’s not the same old-school (read: uptight) game I remember…with the same old-school (read: snooty) people. Egads…maybe I’ve changed. Maybe I’ve turned old-school (read: uptight and snooty). Impossible! I may have lightened up a wee bit, but it’s the game that’s changed. At least it has in my zip code. Perhaps Tiger and Michelle have something to do with it. Or maybe it was Kevin Costner and Renee Russo steaming it up in Tin Cup. Regardless, I find the changes on and around the links refreshing.

Fun though it’s proving to be, golf won’t fulfill my aerobic quota. I’ll still be hitting the gym three times a week. Since hanging up my tennis racket, I’ve been pumping iron to the beat in one or another exercise class. As I go to an all-female gym, the past two weeks of playing golf have been enlightening. The male-female dynamics I’ve encountered while chasing the little white ball hit my radar smack dab in the middle of the green…and pin high. It seems that I had forgotten how much I enjoyed the peripheral company of men.

So far, I’ve played one round of 18 holes with one of my chicas, one round of nine holes with my husband and I’ve gone to the range once—by myself—to practice. Each time I’ve found myself in some fun exchanges with the opposite sex. I’ve no idea whether any of these men are married, single or even heterosexual…but I do know that they were friendly, courteous, and professional…and in all cases, well dressed. It’s true that I’m not in the market, but I know plenty of women who often complain how difficult it is to meet nice, professional men. Perhaps these chicas should take up golf. From what I’ve witnessed recently, there seems to be plenty of “fore” play to go a “round.” I could say something else here about strokes and balls…but no, that would be a cheap shot. Same goes for any twosome, threesome or foursome references. I have to admit that the wordplay is a bit tempting. I’m not sure even I can resist a “hole in one” reference. Guess not.

Back to the co-mingling. Do I really think these men were flirting with me…or testing the waters? Not really. I think they were just relaxed, friendly and confident types that liked seeing a woman out pursuing the sport. Plus, they assumed we had something in common, and they were correct. We have golf in common, which brings me to my main point.

Through the years, I’ve told countless women that the best way to meet a guy is while enjoying an extracurricular activity. This could include hiking, running, biking or even tennis. I know one woman who met her significant other at a dog park. Another friend met her guy at an art exhibit. If we’re truly looking for companionship, then meeting someone who already enjoys doing something we like to do is a bonus. Besides, if we’re out doing something we enjoy, then we’re not really looking—and everybody knows that when we’re looking we never find what we want. It’s only when we aren’t looking that what we’re really looking for finds us.

What’s that you say? You don’t play golf. Just because you don’t play golf…or run, or hike, or go to art exhibits or the dog park, doesn’t mean you couldn’t try any of these activities. You never know. You may find something—or someone—that suits your fancy. If you don’t meet a potential suitor, then maybe you’ll link up with some other chicas who share your same interests. Finding good friends is almost as difficult as finding a good mate. A word of caution though; renting clubs or borrowing a racket is one thing, but I suggest you actually own a dog if you go to a dog park.

Sure, there are other ways to meet guys…and dogs. You might get lucky and meet someone while testing the melons in the produce department of your local grocery store. Some people go for workplace romances. After all, working for the same company, and in the same industry, is something in common. Plus, you don’t have to spend any money on equipment or green fees. Personally, I subscribe to the “Don’t get your honey where you get your money” philosophy. Things can get way to sticky. It’s no bargain if you have to change jobs. Of course, there’s always the old standby…as in meeting men in bars or clubs. About that—it’s always wise to remember that drinking and dark lighting can impair our judgments and theirs.

Again, I suggest golf. It’s a safer bet. It’s a daylight sport and it’s very forgiving. It actually comes with mulligans (do-overs) and gimmes. Plus, if the on course “stroking” ends up in the rough, there’s always the 19th hole. No longer “just for guys,” some of these places serve a mean cosmopolitan.

Time to go. I’m off to the practice range to hit a bucket of balls…and I’m taking a single friend along for the ride. I think she’s hoping to play a little “skins” soon. Me? I’m just hoping to improve my aim and my putting. Honestly…it’s my short game that’s on my mind. Well, that and maybe an ice cold cosmo with just a little peripheral vision of the galley action. Tee time anyone?

© 2006 Teresa G. Franta