Et tu?

I’ve recently decided that life is too short to have a grocery basket that won’t turn to the right—regardless if I am picking up groceries for the week or it’s just a quick stop for milk and eggs. Sure, I used to suffer through with the status quo, but not anymore. Just the other day, I signaled to the store manger and asked that he help me transfer my food to another cart—one that wasn’t a constant source of irritation and a danger as I couldn’t get out of the way of the mother who was quickly bearing down on me with three children in tow and enough groceries to feed an army.

This was an epiphanic moment for me. It was one in which I consciously gave way to my subconscious—that little voice that’s been whispering “quality versus quantity chica” for the past three years. When I was working 95 plus hours a week, all I could think about was a safe and secure retirement—knowing that with the California lifestyle I would most probably work in some way or another for the remainder of my life. And also acknowledging that I am not one to sit still often.

Since I gave up my ad agency, I rarely think of retirement. Like the hamster without the wheel, I don’t seem worried about getting “somewhere” anymore. But really, that’s not true either. I worry about getting somewhere, but I’m focused more on the journey itself. Do I want to sit and spin my wheels all day long waiting for something that may never materialize because of those big black SUVs that continue to dog me whenever I leave the house in my tiny little convertible? Or the bus that almost took me out on a recent getaway with my husband? No…no, no, no. Life is too short, too unpredictable and most of all…too precious. It’s certainly too precious to suffer for an hour, a half hour, or even ten minutes with a grocery basket that only turns to the left—or worse, has one wheel that won’t rotate.

If I sound different, if my voice has changed a wee bit, then I believe it’s because I have finally decided to take some risks. Someone said to me recently that cash is king. Well then, if cash is king, then I’m just a lady in waiting. And yes, I use the term “lady” loosely. Speaking of loose—it’s time to loosen up. Time to stop worrying about the bend in the road. Time to realize that while I have the rest of my life in front of me, I don’t know what’s in front of me—and I won’t know until I run smack dab into it. And when that happens, I won’t be wrestling with a grocery cart that only turns to the left.

Yes, I suppose my epiphany moment has actually been three years in the making. And of course it has something to do with getting older. But this sideways chica buys wholeheartedly into the motto that older is better, older is wiser, and older is not the end of the road. I am tired of being a lady in waiting. I can make changes that may not be as safe and secure as our parents taught us to be, but they can result in more life in my years, if not more years in my life.

Rambling though this is, as my fingers and mind (and wit) are a bit rusty, my thought process is clearer than it has been in years. My passion for life has awoken and can’t be sedated.

Here’s to today. Whatever tomorrow brings will be whatever tomorrow brings. As for yesterday…that’s old news. While I have much to be grateful for, and many wonderful memories to cherish, the trash man cometh and the trash man taketh away. Live, laugh, love. It’s time I start following my own advice. Et tu chicas and chicos?

© 2007 Teresa G. Franta