Calling all cougars...
How can it be that a woman writing about her first hot flash in “Beware the freezer burn!” can be accused of being a cougar?
Not of the four-legged variety—but an urban cougar, which is loosely defined as a savvy chica who enjoys the company of younger males. That’s right, yours truly just heard that someone, a pot calling the kettle tarnished, warned the sweet girlfriend of a handsome young man about little (and apparently) not-so-old me!It seems that I was on the hunt and stalking my prey, or rather hers. Of course, this is funny in a sick way. My alleged prey is like a nephew to me. My friends, including the Husband, think this is hilarious. The woman who issued the warning is definitely not a friend, nor does she know me—or even have the slightest idea of whom I am or what makes me tick. If she knew me and made this accusation, then I guess it wouldn’t be as funny. As it is, this really made me laugh when I heard about it…after my first, initial “ICK!”
Why do people make accusations about people they don’t even know? Why do they spread malicious gossip, as if they do know the person about whom they are speaking? In this case, no real harm was done. But that’s not always the case. Sometimes people say and do things maliciously and cause serious harm. Shouldn’t these people be held accountable for their actions? Shouldn’t someone warn them off? Or will justice be done someday, as in what goes around comes around? 
I can’t enforce a penalty for falsely accusing me of being a cougar…but I can entertain a few ideas, can’t I? Ah well…I guess I’ll cross over and take the high road here, but I do want to talk about hypocrisy.
I’ve no intention of calling this woman out and telling her exactly how wrong and silly she is. I have an idea that she knows how wrong and silly she is, and it’s her inferiority complex (and need to be in control) that fueled her comments in the first place. But I do wonder what gives her the right (or the nerve) to try and be friendly with me after making such comments—waving and smiling as if she is my friend. Am I expected to wave back? Not this cat. I might not hiss at her, but I’m definitely not going to purr her on.
Speaking of cats, I thought I would take a look at some of the characteristics of the cougar, and see if I do have any similar traits that could have led this tarnished pot to conclude that I am on the prowl for some young and tender meat. After all, I should probably give her the benefit of the doubt. She couldn’t have been spreading this rumor about me for the heck of it, could she? I mean everyone knows where there’s smoke there’s fire. Right?
Okay, so here goes...
What I personally have in common with cougars:
Cougars are prevalent in the Yukon Territory. My husband and I have a Yukon parked in our garage and sometimes I drive it to Las Vegas with my friends.
Cougars are also referred to as pumas. I used to have a pair of Puma sneakers. Now
I wear Nike cross trainers. Washington State University has a cougar named Butch as its mascot. I have been to the state of Washington several times and I have a friend named Butch.
The Puma and the Cougar were both model names of cars produced by the Ford Motor Company. My husband and I used to have a Ford Explorer.
The Smothers Brothers (from way back in the day) used to perform a comedy routine where they worried about “pumas in the crevasses. ” Me? I’m worried about tarnished pots spreading silly gossip, or rather...I’m just plain tired of pains in the arses.
Well there you go. My bad. It’s obvious why this tarnished old pot mistook me for a cougar. I shouldn’t have judged her so harshly. All the cougar signs are there for anyone willing to look beneath the surface. Guess I had better start living up to my new urban cougar title. Bottoms up everybody! I'm suddenly in the mood to “chill.”
Postscript: I still laugh at the thought of me as a cougar. Not a tranquilizer gun, or the best animal trainer around, could turn this cat into a carnivorous man hunter. My day’s of hunting are over. My husband hunted me until I sited him in my scope over 17 years ago. That’s my her-story and I’m stickin’ to it!
Comments
You summed it all up with this sentence:“Guess I had better start living up to my new urban cougar title.Bottoms up everybody! I'm suddenly in the mood to “chill.”"
See..you can beat anything with great positive attitude..good for you!
Very nice writing and here i am again the first one to comment on this post...i guess the time difference is on my side in my case. Enjoy the weekend!
I intentionally awoke early, to be the first to comment, but luck was not on my side. Well, luck is on my side since I am stilling commenting. Wow, you have me convinced with those Common Denominators, sarcastically I say.
One thing not mentioned is the respect, or regards this young gentleman holds for you. I wonder if her jealousy is stemmed from his words about you? Or, is it, that this young woman just feels threatened by your good looks and outstanding personality? Maybe, and I mean just maybe, she is just malicious, due to her young mind and not clear of the mature world?
Either way you look at it- if this were true, you would be the mascot for many of sports teams and highly regarded and celebrated prior to each team event. Also, the Cougar does maintain one "Den", and Mr. F knows where that is- right by his side and happiness is yours.
So, in the spirit of rumor prevention, or conformation, this reader would request one cyber growl, to let all the other cougars know your teritory.
Great article,
Reach
Glad you enjoyed chica...have a great week and thanks for being number 1!
Ciao bella...
Ciao bella...have a great week!
You are correct about the respect and regards this young man holds for me...and it is reciprocal. The accusation took place some time ago, but my friends and I just learned of it recently.
Here's to my cyber growl...a great idea.
Ciao for now...and have a great week.
Till today I didn't know what "cougar" meant. Had somebody called me one, I'd have blissfully thought that they meant I was a cool cat (as in smart, stylish and unruffled). Would've even smiled, thinking its a compliment. Heh :D
Thanks for enlightening me with one more American term. And best to ignore this woman. Maybe she hasn't known much kindness in life, especially one that comes from a generous heart and expects nothing in return. So your kindness to this adopted nephew looked to be something else in her jaundiced eyes. Insecure people who don't have much self-worth often lie, get catty and mean.
Best to take the high road, preferably one where one doesn't have to sight such vermin :D.
Priya.
Funny thing about this episode. Several friends said that I should have been flattered by the accusation. Of course, I looked at them as if they were crazy...and reminded them that the tarnished pot said that I was after him, not vice versa! Big, big difference.
Oh well, it takes all kinds...as in diversity. And we all know what I say about that. Diversity is a good thing - mostly! Provides checks and balances, which leads to tolerance, and in this case, wonderful serotonin-releasing laughter - and lots of it!
Ciao bella...here's to the high road. May we meet there some day. Have a great week.
Maybe the girlfriend is blind. Maybe what the woman said was, "Susie, I feel I must tell you something because you're blind and your dog just can't tell you these things. Teri is telling your beau a joke. Now he's laughing. Now she's laughing. Now he's taking a sip of a drink. Susie, I wish you could SEE this!"
My kids are home from school today, the teachers are having training. Is the junior high one ever going to get out of bed so we can leave the house?!
Thanks for another thought-provoking essay. :-)
Now, I've not seen much of you, nor have I ever met you, but just going by your writing and what I've learned of you through correspondence, I can tell you are one of those women who is (ahem) desirable, whether you try to be or not. As one who, uh, ahem (is it hot in here?) "appreciates" those ladies beyond my immediate age group, I know the power a woman can have over a younger man. Again, not intentionally, but simply by the sheer power of her presence.
To sum up, I'll bet he has the hots for you, and that's pissing her right the hell off.
Way to go, LLS! ;)
Yes, there are many possibilities, but since the young woman who was warned off was the one who eventually fessed up, I got it straight from the source. Of course, this young woman considered the source (or the bete noir) when she was warned off...and I am thankful for that. Otherwise, this episode wouldn't be funny at all.
As for the still in bed junior high one...I wish you luck. I've no recipe for that, other than turning on the TV loudly on a program that he or she cannot stand...and then closely guarding the remote. That, or bribery with a nice juicy burger at his or her favorite haunt.
Take care chica...and thank you for your indignation and bringing up my exemplary 17-year record of non-couragesque (or should I say cougar-risque) behaviour.
Ciao for now...and have a great weekend!
Ciao LLB...I have missed you. Glad you're back.
I find it hilarious that we're all so afraid of growing older and losing our attractiveness to our mates, yet men who are much younger seem to find our generation irresistable! What is it that we possess that they find so desireable? One of my first bets would be confidence, or not giving a rat's arse what anyone thinks anymore (power is always attractive). Younger women just don't have that air about them and it shows, as you witnessed with your cougar fiasco!
I'm sure you handled yourself as the lady that you seem to be. And I haven't been reading long enough to know what "chill" means, but all I know is that it's 5:00 somewhere right now, and I'm going to "chill" with a nice glass of wine in about 5 minutes. Salute!!
Have a great weekend,
Lisa
"Chill" has two meanings here. Obvious meaning is sit back, relax and get your drink on. The other meaning refers to "License to chill," which is my clever (obtuse) way of not saying the word kill, which any hungry cougar, or angry accused cougar, might be inclined to do.
Thank you for your kind words Lisa...and thanks for joining in on a regular basis. You always seem to sharpen my point.
Ciao bella...have a great weekend.
And where was my husband all this time? Talking with the Dad, clueless. (They work together.) Finally we got to leave, but not before the toasted teenager took his shirt off and strutted. I was mortified as was his Mom. We're never spoken about this, so we're still friends. :-)
I wonder what kind of animal the situation evokes? There's this fawn, maybe it has small velvet horns, and then there's this moderately-sized llama. Yes, I was that notorious llama.
Have a great weekend, Teri!
By the way...how do you know the velvet-horned one couldn't spell spontaneous?
Ciao bella...thanks for the breath of fresh air.
I must say, I'm a little disappointed in myself. After you spelled out those five points ... well, I can't believe I didn't see the similarities before. (...and thanks for the laugh! :o) Come to think of it, The Eastern Cougar hasn't been sighted in my neck of the woods for several decades, so I guess that would point the finger of suspicion my way too, but thankfully I failed the physical.
Chris is likely onto something. She had some reason for talking about you, and if it had nothing to do with you, then that only leaves him.
Thanks for the amazing comment over at my place today. Nicest one I received all week. Made my day. I enjoy your writing as well.
Off to eat turkey this weekend -- it's the Canadian Thanksgiving.
Ciao back atcha!
Andrew
Hmmmm? The eastern Cougar eh? Sounds intriguing. Enjoy your Thanksgiving and save some white meat for me. And no...that isn't an innuendo for anything else! Thought I would make that perfectly clear before Chris weighs in again!
Ciao Andrew...I read your posts as often as I can, and I do admire your work. I see that quite a few of my readers enjoy your site as well.
Flirt away.
I flirt with everyone, so in my case does that make me a lesbian?
BTW Teri, you are looking very well. ;P
I have had a couple interesting "hits" on myspace. I think a study needs to be done to find out what the young mans attraction is to women of a certain age.
I'll need quite a few assistants. line forms to the left.
In any case, it doesn't make us hags to fancy a younger guy. Personally I go for 40-55 who know what they're doing but I like older men. Perhaps it's her problem? hmm.
This whole cougar thing has me baffled. It's new territory (yes, I resisted the temptation to say "virgin."). I believe there are two sides to this, and judging from some of the encounters I've had at the store and at an Angel's game in the past two weeks, I think "cougar hunting" by those barely old enough to drive is more prevalent than the cougar actually looking for prey...at least in my neck 'o the woods as Suz would say!
Ciao bella...be careful out there. You just might get "snared."
That said...I'm quite happy with my older man. But I wonder...why wasn't he called a cougar or some other inane name when he was stalking this prey 17-years ago? Some of his friends called me his "niece," as a joke, but I don't recall him being called my "uncle." Seems to always be the women who get the labels...like that big red A. ;)
Ciao bella...enjoy!
www.Carine-whatscooking.blogspot.com
Thank you for sharing your village idiots with us today!
Ciao bella...have a great week.
I agree with Chris, that perhaps something led this "friend" to feel she had to say something, warranted or not.
Love to laugh (translation: Life is too short to take such "****" seriously)
Have a wonderful week!!
Blessings
Here's to an eye roll...here's to laughter.
Ciao bella...have a great week, and have you thought about those boots I mentioned last week?
Teri, I recently heard some alarming gossip about me, and I knew it could only come from one person. I've never been the confrontational type, but I called her up and told her what I'd heard, and how she must've misunderstood the situation to portray it so incorrectly.
I was calm, not confrontational, and she fell all over herself apologizing.
I then went over the points she'd twisted around, emphasizing that several people now believed her version of events, rather than the truth, and how I needed her help in setting the record straight.
She offered to clear things up with specific people and I thanked her. When I hung up, I wasn't stressed or upset!
I wish I'd had this sense of control when I was a younger woman--so many things would've turned out better than they did.
I really think you need to talk to this tarnished old pot, and set the record straight! If there's anything I've learned from observing our political situation, it is that if a lie is told often enough, people begin to believe it.
Not sure how far this rumor has spread...but if I even get a whiff of a scent...then Bonnie to the rescue. I will let you know how it goes.
Ciao bella...and it really is very good to hear from you chica. Hugs.
Ciao bella...have a great week, and I promise to practice my roar!
We cannot always choose who attacks us and how- what we do choose is how we react to them.
It was a pleasure to see the way you reacted, with wit but vigour! ;)
More power to you!
That said, what else struck me about your post is "Methinks she doth protest too much." Sometimes you just have to have a duck's back in this day and age. Right?
As always, thanks for the comments on my blog. You're always so nice to your blogging buddies.
Ciao bella...enjoy!
"Methinks she doth protest too much."
I love it! Also...I love that you guys weigh in and give your point of view. I may be a sideways chica, but without the testosterone in my life I would only have one-half of a sideways point of view. Thanks!
I always enjoy your musings, and feel bad that I haven't the time to "blog around" on a regular basis. I do know that when I do stop by your place that it's always a treat! ;)
Ciao Big Dave...have a great week.
As I am receiving feedback from friends, fellow bloggers, sudo friends, etc., the "boots" are becoming much more in the forefront of my future.
Glad to hear it chica. A girl's got to have a little fun!
Ciao bella...enjoy!
Hope you are feeling better...Winter Park here you come!
Ciao bella...watch out for those pots full o' SH__!
Hey if I was husband stealing material, I was wife on my own material
Many women are very insecure, and hate strong women.
Would get up from my chaise as I actually swam or to go up, and say "it's okay go back to talking about me," because I knew they did--could hear the pool from my apartment
All sorts of absurd things happened. Moved back to Manhattan where us potential husband stealers are a dime a dozen
Very interesting post
Once, back in the eighties, I lived in an apartment complex with a nice outdoor pool. I felt as if I were living in a big fish bowl. I was single, living on my own..but in a relationship. Most of the others were married folk. I think I was labeled a "tiger" shark back then. Guess they hadn't heard of the cougars yet. ;)
Thanks for stopping in Pia...have a great week.
Ciao for now.
Have a great day ~ G
Ciao bella...have a great week. And yes, I have gone easy on the tarnished pot. Anything else wasn't worth my time. We cougars have a busy schedule. Cheers!
Seriously, welcome and thanks for stopping by. Just today I was outlining an article about stupid people, and then I encountered another stupid person. To make myself feel better, I put on Janis Joplin's "Me and Bobby McGee" and then I forgot all about it. Thank goodness for music! Soothes the savage beast...or at least this faux cougar.
I post an article every Friday. Hope you make it by again.
Ciao for now...
Ciao for now...
Ciao bella...something to look forward to many years from now.