Menu of friends...

Recently I was thinking about the similarities between people and food. We’re all familiar with the famous saying, “You are what you eat.” I brought this up with some of my chicas and we had a great time putting some interesting cuisine in front of our friends’ faces, including our own not so innocent little mugs. We decided to plan a menu for a friendly dinner party. We didn’t base our bill of fare on the food we eat on a regular basis. It was personalities and other little quirks that set our table with an eclectic variety of chow.

We started with a snack...and a friend that always has a dilemma in her life. Nothing on her plate is ever easy. She’s invariably stuck in the middle of something difficult or controversial. Perhaps it’s stealing a bit from the late, great Erma Bombeck, but we decided unanimously that this chica is a bowl of cherries…complete with all the pits. Once pitted, she’s smart and funny, but getting there is a challenge for even the most experienced chefs. But we love her—pits and all.

We moved on to our eternal optimist friend. She sees the stainless lining in every pot, even when the smoke alarm is blasting in her ear. Sometimes her cheery recipe for life gets on our nerves, but we generally clean our plates willingly with her positive outlook. We also recognize that she keeps many of us from going mad—or hungry. We decided that she’s an appetizer—something to look forward to before the main course of life, which isn’t always as appetizing as we expect. Cheese and crackers are too mundane. Hot wings too spicy. We settled on something in between. Her sunny recipe calls for several ripe California avocados and fresh tortilla chips. Yes, she’s the instant gratification that keeps us going back to our favorite Mexican restaurant each week. She is guacamole: the perfect blend of smoothness…which just enough lemon juice so that she never turns brown or let’s her friends get down.

Next, we have our main course chica. Predictable as the day is long. She’s always there for a friend in need, with the right words ready for any occasion. This friend is a savory, down-home meatloaf. She’s comforting, filling and always there in a pinch when we don’t know what to have for dinner…or we’re just sick and tired of the plain old hamburgers, hard to digest steaks and unpredictable chickens in our lives.

Another friend is a specific dessert—and not because of her sweetness factor. This friend can be moody and unpredictable…but a lot of fun. She keeps us guessing. What dessert could possibly describe this hot and cold running friend? A hot fudge Sundae, of course. Cold, cold ice cream, combined with hot, hot fudge. The whimsical whip cream on top accounts for her fun-loving side. The big red cherry just makes us laugh. One friend thought a banana split might accommodate the “altering personality disorder” better than the sundae, but there wasn’t nearly enough hot fudge involved for this hot mama!

Guys weren’t off limits either. We quickly labeled one friend’s husband a steamed artichoke. Sometimes you get all the thorns trimmed off…but every now and then, you get a little “prick” to go along with the drawn butter and mayo. The occasional “prick” might get you a little “steamed,” but overall, this artichoke is a good “egg.”

Another friend’s husband is freshly grilled corn on the cob. Partly because he hails from Claysburg, Pennsylvania which is known as the capital of corn, and also because he’ll talk your ear off on all things corn if given the opportunity. If you’re wondering what could be said about corn that could make you wish you never saw corn again, believe me when I say you don’t want to know. This friend is also corn because he’s chock full of interesting little “niblets” of data that continually amaze me and my menu of friends—the corn lectures not withstanding.

My dear “chow hound” of a husband wasn’t spared kitchen duty either. He’s the leftovers. Not in a bad way, mind you. He’s leftovers because he’s easy to please. He’s also know for his love of food and capacity to eat almost anything. I think the term “cast-iron stomach” applies. Plus, he does one heck of a cleanup job in the kitchen. He’s the best leftovers I’ve ever had…and I’m not sharing.

Finally, we get to yours truly…me. My friends decided that I’m pasta. What kind? Well, that’s the point. I can be any type of pasta on any given day. I’m adaptable. Pasta is comfort food, and I like people to be comfortable. If someone wants baked ziti, then I’m baked ziti. If they need meatballs and arrabiata, then that’s what they get. If it’s rich and filling gnocchi with pesto or Alfredo that’s called for…then gnocchi it is. And, if they want both sauces combined, then I’ll do that too. Yes, my friend’s decided that I look at them closely, recognize their needs, and then serve them up something to comfort and feed their soul. One friend suggested labeling me soul food…but as I can be a bit temperamental, Italian fare won out.

After I returned home from planning my “menu of friends,” I thought of my boys. What food describes them best? My husband and I debated this issue for a while and finally decided that the eldest is mac and cheese. He’s as reliable as mac and cheese, he laughs at everything so he’s a bit cheesy on the humor side, and he’s filling in a good way. If we’re feeling out of sorts, all we have to do is call up our mac and cheese boy. His infectious laugh is a wonderful ingredient to have on hand. He’ll serve us up a nice, comforting, feel-good bowl of cheesy macaroni.

The plat du jour for our youngest son is a no-brainer. He’s pizza. Like pizza, we never know what we’re going to get with this son—especially if we order from our local Domino’s. Thin crust, thick crust, pepperoni, Italian sausage, mushrooms or even chicken…the youngest is adaptable and unpredictable. He also likes to take a few shortcuts in life and he loves variety. What is pizza if not shortcuts and variety? Unpredictable as he is, this son always manages to deliver. He continually surprises and delights, and he’s uber smooth with the ladies. “When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amoré.” And that’s our boy. He’s definitely the works.

All this food for thought began as a joke. In the end, my friends and I found that comparing people to food broils up some interesting recipes for life. Now that we know what some of our life fare is, we can better prepare ourselves for the meal. You know…have a little antacid or band aids on hand if necessary…or the all-important cherry pitter.

I could grill on like this for hours, but I want to know what’s cooking with you? What’s on your plate? What about your menu of friends and family? You may want to turn on your back burner and let this simmer for a while. Be careful though. Don’t be overly ambitious with your guest list. You may end up with too many cooks in the kitchen and the proverbial pot might be stirred a little too much for your liking. And always have your pot holders handy. You wouldn’t want to get burned. My advice is to let everything cook thoroughly and leave out any half-baked ideas. Nothing ruins a friendly dinner partly like a little food poisoning. Some people just can’t stand the heat, so I made sure that my menu was palatable for all my guests before dishing it out here.

Whatever you’re serving up in your hood today—or for the holidays—hot, cold, spicy or mild—I wish you bon appétit. Here’s to good food, good times, and good friends. Let’s eat!

© 2006 Teresa G. Franta