A lose-win situation...

We've all heard of a win-win situation, but what about a lose-win situation? Sounds confusing, but it’s not. Sometimes when we lose we still win.Take for example a recent event in my life. Some of my readers nominated me for both “Best Writing” and “Most Thought Provoking” in an online competition for women bloggers.

I told everyone who would listen—and a few who wouldn’t—that I wanted either one of these awards for the first line of my book proposal. I explained over and over again that it would be a call out to influential people, especially editors. It would make them stand up and take notice and provide validation that I was doing something right—that there’s an audience out there for my sideways voice.

How pompous, silly and narcissistic I must have sounded...and stupid. I failed to realize that receiving the nominations and then making it into the semi-finals meant that I was being noticed already—and that my readers were plenty influential in their own right. More importantly, they wanted to hear my voice. And if the past year is any indication, they’re pretty good at spreading the word. And they have on my behalf over and over again.

My point—and I do have one—is that every cloud, no matter how stormy, does have a silver lining. It may not come in the guise of a shiny trophy that we can put on a shelf and admire every day, or boldly proclaim on the first line of a book proposal. But it’s there none-the-less; reminding us that even though we may lose, we can still win. All we need to do is stand up, take notice, and pay attention.

Just moments after I heard that I was a loser, I knew that I was also a winner. I’m a winner because my readers believe in me and they enjoy what I write. Enough so that they nominated me for the two categories that are very near and dear to my heart—“Best Writing” and “Most Thought Provoking.” I take pride in what I write and I put a lot of effort into making my essays topical, conversational and interesting. Thought provoking? For me, that’s really what it’s all about. I want to make people think first…and laugh later.

This contest experience has opened up my tiny little corner of the blogosphere to thousands of people who have never heard of the sideways chica or me. And I now understand that I have to keep exposing myself—or at least my work—to more people. And by people, I mean more readers. Instead of flying under the radar, guarding my essays and their copyrights for future publication, I need to get the word out and start pushing syndication of my site in appropriate areas. I need to share with the world what I have to say here…or I will never be able to say it there—and consequently will have no need to worry about any copyright issues anywhere. And I need to do all of this while staying true to myself and my faithful readers who have encouraged and supported me this past year.

I find it ironic that Here’s to Happy Women initially began as a three month research project to hone my writing skills and find out what smart women and men wanted to read about, think about, laugh about, and cry foul about. I think I get the picture now. I know I hear your voices. And your voices are much more than a focus group. They are my muses, my conscience and my friends. But please, let’s keep this our little secret. If the wrong people found out that I’ve been hearing voices for well over a year now, and written well over 60,000 words chronicling these voices, let’s just say I might be tied up for a while.

Maybe some day I’ll win that shiny trophy, or get that impressive first line of my book proposal. Until then, I’ll take—and be quite happy with—“Best Writing” and “Most Thought Provoking” Semi-finalist. I was, after all, in very good company. I will wear these nods of approval from my devoted readers with pride. I will consider myself a winner because of all those who nominated me, voted for me and then championed my cause. I will consider myself a winner, because I am. I have learned so much about life, laughter and love from my cyberspace friends that I often wonder where I would be today without Here’s to Happy Women. I am extremely grateful.

Thank you all from the bottom of my somewhat twisted and sideways heart. And welcome to all of you who are newcomers to my roundtable. From this day forward, Here’s to Happy Women is no longer a research site. It’s my site. It’s your site. Thank you all for letting me provoke your thoughts each week. I promise to do my best. And I promise to always think of those silver linings—but I need your help. I need your promise to give me a swift kick in the hiney if my eye ever wanders to that trophy shelf again—and I promise to get my head out of my arse post haste. I think the term I’m referring to is “Asshat.” Feel free to use it if necessary.

©2007 Teresa G. Franta

Dedicated to Kacey, the original Sideways Chica, and Matty, a real kick in the pants!