Here's to Happy Women...

So often now, I find myself giving advice to many people. This worries me, as I never want to lead someone down the wrong path. We all live in glass houses, so I am careful with my advice or criticism. Generally, the type of advice I give involves thinking exercises — little drills to help lead the horse to the water that he (or she) has already been looking for in the dark and with blinders on. I just try to get the horse to take off the blinders and turn on the lights. Whether the horse drinks the water or not is another story. Sometimes I suggest the hat exercise from my article Hat trick anyone? , or I encourage friends to make their own top twenty list, as described in 'Til death do us part... . Mostly though, I encourage friends and loved ones to let go of the past, seize the moment, and embrace the future . Recently, an older friend reached out and shared her frustration (or rather, misery) with the current state of her life...and her future, or lack thereof. She readi...

No matter how much we think we know someone, there are always surprises. Some of these surprises are good, as in a tender heart showing up where one thought there wasn’t any tenderness at all. This reminds me of a good friend. Many people are intimidated by him, others just put off by his loud bark. Some people wonder why his wife puts up with him ... what she sees in her noisy yapper. Those who’ve taken the time to scratch beneath the surface (or his belly) know that his bark is worse than his bite. This man constantly surprises me with his sentimental side, which is something that he desperately tries to hide from others. I caught him crying at the end of a movie one day and he tried to blame it on “allergies.” We both knew he was barking at the moon, but I didn’t call him on it, as his bark is important to him. It’s taken me a few y ears to realize that his bark isn’t so bad. It’s certainly predictable and he really hasn’t a bite at all. He’s generous and caring, even if he doesn’...

What should we do when someone wears out their welcome? A friend of mine is currently struggling with a space invader. He has a friend who loves to stop by unannounced. This used to be OK, but lately it’s become a daily habit. My friend is threatening to develop a nasty habit himself — rudeness. He’s dropped subtle hints, then not-so-subtle hints. Neither has worked. It’s not like he can hide from this friend — he lives right next door. I told him to be direct — just tell him that you need some time to yourself. I got an interesting reaction. I guess some guys have a hard time telling other guys to go away. Next, I suggested that he put a “closed” sign on his door when he doesn’t feel like having company. He thought about this for a moment, but then decided his neighbor would think it was a joke. He also explained that just because he doesn’t want this guy over every day, it doesn’t mean that others aren’t welcome. My friend’s current girlfriend is beyond (way beyond) irritated w...

I was riding the recumbent bike at the gym the other day when a woman in her mid-sixties sat down next to me. As she started to pedal, she looked over and asked me what my hat said. I glanced in the mirror and smiled as I realized it was a baseball cap from an old corporate client of mine — “old” as in back when I had my agency. I don’t wear this hat often and must have grabbed it by mistake as I hustled out the door to beat the morning gym rush. As I thought of my agency, I felt a bit nostalgic, but I told the woman the name of the client, and what the cap s aid. Then I followed up with, “I didn’t realize I was wearing this hat.” Now it was her turn to smile. She turned to me with a mischievous grin and said, “That’s life isn’t it? We never know which hat we’re wearing.” There were several gym rats within hearing distance and we all laughed. I heard an “Amen” from a woman on the treadmill. She had on a beanie hat. As I left the gym that day, I thought about all of the hats I’ve wo...