Flirting with danger?

I have several guy friends and a few of these boys are great big flirts. They flirt with everyone. The waitress, the teller, the receptionist…even their mother. That’s just the way they are. Are they looking for a sexual escapade? No…well at least not with their mother. Are they acting inappropriately? At work, there’s a good chance they are, given the new rules and regulations. Everywhere else, I believe they’re just being friendly...and having some fun. This brings me to my point, and rather quickly I might add.

Flirting is fun. It makes us feel happy and boosts our self-confidence level. The flirting I’m talking about is the harmless kind, not the lecherous type. It involves wordplay and innuendo…nice, friendly smiles…and the occasional wink. Wow. When I put it that way, I could be describing several of my married friends—guys and gals. And why not? Why should the single folks have all the fun? What’s wrong with a little “word” play among friends…as long as it’s only words?

Settle down now. I’m not talking about what some people call “cheating in your heart.” I’m talking about a little savvy, smart and clever repartee between friends. Nothing hardcore—just a little innuendo and an unspoken contest to see who will be the ultimate wordsmith.

I bet some people out there still think my definition of “word” play is considered “cheating in your heart.” Perhaps it’s the quote marks. None-the-less, I feel sorry for these people. They obviously have no idea what a little smart talk can do for your self-esteem.

By the way, how is it cheating? Just because you acknowledge the sexuality of someone else, doesn’t mean you have to—or even want to—act on it. Men are men and women are women. Sometimes we flirt with one another and it means absolutely nothing…other than we like to flirt. I guess the answer lies with the people doing the flirting…and their motives. I’m thinking that people who immediately think of flirting as “cheating in your heart,” might have some interesting motivation for thinking the way they do. Me? I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes though, flirting can go awry when signals are missed…or misinterpreted.

One person may think his or her flirting is harmless, while the other person takes it seriously. If this happens, then Houston you do have a problem...and no safe landing pad in sight. Personally, I only take flirting seriously with my husband—and even then not so much.

We’ve all heard someone we know referred to as “a big flirt.” Whenever I hear or speak these words, it’s always with an undertone of affection and bemusement. In other words, it’s not serious folks! It’s just flirting!

As always, I like to cover both sides of a debate, so I decided to flirt around with a little “undercover” research. I wanted to get to the “bottom” of this issue. My next stop was dictionary.com. I found out that “Flirting with danger,” means to “deal playfully, triflingly, or superficially with…”*

Hmmm? Can it still be considered playful if you’re flirting with danger? If so, that’s irony for you, which, ironically, is another definition of flirting…as in “to communicate a sense of playfulness or irony. Double entendres, with one meaning more formally appropriate and another more suggestive, may be used.”*

Since I rather enjoy a clever double entendre, I decided to look this up too. I found the definition enlightening. It reads, “A figure of speech similar to the pun, in which a spoken phrase can be understood in either of two ways. The first, literal meaning is an innocent one, while the second meaning is often ironic or risqué and requires the hearer to have some additional knowledge.” **

The “additional knowledge” thing threw me at first, but I think I’ve finally gotten to the “bottom” of this flirting thing. It involves playfulness, irony, double entendres and puns. It’s circumstantial evidence at best, but I think I’ve just outed myself to myself. Actually, you might say that it’s official. After completing my not so in-depth “undercover” research on the art and history of flirting and “word” play, I asked my husband if he thought I was a flirt. After all, he knows me better than anyone else does. His response? “A big one.”

It appears that I have yet another label. Now that I know I’m a flirt, I wonder if I’ll take it seriously.

No worries…I’m just playfully and superficially trifling with you.

Seriously…dedicated to my long, lost brother.

© 2006 Teresa G. Franta

* Dictionary.com

** Wikipedia.org